breaking news: the australian wildfires linked to jihad!

10 February 2009 in Uncategorized

Through careful attention to shock developments on FOXNews, abdiel.ca has learned that notable terrorism experts have conclusively linked the deadly Australian wildfires to the global Islamic movement’s terror plot.

Says the report:

While Australian authorities have revealed no evidence linking the wildfires to extremists, terrorism experts say the large death toll, the huge swath of destruction and the massive financial blow to the country are proving to Islamic terrorists that arson can be a highly effective – and simple – tool of holy war.

“Could [militants] do this? Yes,” said Steve Emerson, executive director of The Investigative Project on Terrorism. Perhaps more troubling, Emerson said, is that there is very little authorities can do to prevent terrorists from setting deadly wildfires. “It would be absolutely impossible to protect against,” he said. “Airport parameters are hard enough to protect. Imagine trying to protect something 100,000 times as big.”

If extremists did have had a hand in the wildfires, Emerson said, it would be “very disturbing”. “It would indicate a new area of jihadist attacks, that is, attacking natural resources,” he said. “And given the devastation of these fires, it certainly could instill new terror ideas in other areas like the food supply chain or in the environmental realm.”

Indeed. Furthermore, if true, allegations made by this blog that Steven Emerson once strangled a cat and ate it raw in front of a group of schoolchildren would also be disturbing. And although this blog hasn’t seen any proof that Steven Emerson is in fact a Satanic rapist who participates in twice-monthly rituals invoking the spirits of Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler, and is in fact the illegitimate love child of Joseph Stalin and Eva Braun, and furthermore is a commie pinko who only pretends to be a terrorism expert so the rest of the world will think terrorism experts are all just as stupid as he is and not listen to them, thereby weakening the civilized world to the coming onslaught of radical Islamomarxifacistnazisociopaths, we certainly haven’t seen any proof that he isn’t, which is of itself disturbing, and would be even more disturbing if it were true.

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10 February 2009 Uncategorized

10 Comments to breaking news: the australian wildfires linked to jihad!

  1. Trust Fox News to come up with something as absurd as this, but isnt the ‘Jihad’gimmick getting a little old?
    Also Im really disappointed that our dear Debbie Schlussel hasn’t warmed up to the story yet :(

  2. Amina on 13 February 2009
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  7. Спасибо

  8. Антон Павлович on 23 March 2010
  9. я так долго этого ждал…

    Through careful attention to shock developments on FOXNews, abdiel…..

  10. Антон Павлович on 24 March 2010
  11. Должен Вам сказать это – ложный путь….

    Менеджер Through careful attention to shock developments on FOXNews, abdiel…..

  12. Kylie Batt on 12 April 2010
  13. Скажите мне, пожалуйста – где мне узнать больше об этом?…

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